why can't i get a girlfriend

Never Had a Girlfriend? — Reasons, Tips and More

Finding a girlfriend with no previous experience in a relationship may be a rather tricky task. But no worries, there are lots of tactics that can help you charm the lady you are attracted to. First, you need to accept that being single is normal, and you don’t have to make meeting someone your life goal. Take it easy, and don’t stress out. 

If you have never had a girlfriend, you’re about to have exciting experiences. Nothing compares to connecting with someone romantically for the first time. In this article, we will show you how to do it.  

Reasons Why You Can’t Find a Girlfriend

According to the real cases on Reddit, the average age for first girlfriend is 13.5. But this is just a figure. Whether you are older or younger than that, creating your first relationship is not about fitting into the crowd. 

Often, there is not just one reason why one can’t find a girlfriend, but a bunch of them. Let’s check out the most common of them. The list below will stop you from wondering, “Why can’t I get a girlfriend?”  

Lack of self-confidence

Even though there is a lot going on around gender equality in the world, it is still expected that a man approaches a woman and not vice versa. Therefore, if you are too shy to start talking to a girl in a bar, make her a compliment, or buy her a drink to start a conversation, it is likely to be one of the reasons you keep asking yourself, “Why can’t I find a girlfriend?” 

Poor communication skills

We are not saying that to get a girlfriend, you need to take a master class on flirting. Nevertheless, some preparation would be great. For instance, you could learn about the best topics to discuss on a date and the biggest taboos when going out with a lady. That’s something you can learn from this article. 

Limited social interactions

Why is it so hard to find a girlfriend? Let’s look at the situation realistically. You are not going to meet someone if you barely ever go out. Of course, there are some cases where friendship between a man and a woman turned into something more, but they are rather exceptions. 

Top Benefits of Having a Girlfriend

Is having no girlfriend so different from dating one? In fact, yes. The latter has plenty of advantages we are going to tell you about. 

benefits of having a girlfriend

Emotional support

Your girlfriend is the person who offers comfort during tough times and understands your feelings. Imagine living with someone you can share your thoughts and worries with. She is also your biggest cheerleader when you make some great achievements. Being in a relationship often feels safer because you know that whatever happens, you don’t have to fight it alone. So if you are still wondering, “Should I get a girlfriend?” this should answer your question. 

Enhanced social life

It’s likely that the people in your girlfriend’s social circle will become mutual friends. You’ll have the opportunity to form new connections and meet others who share your interests, making life more exciting. Things like these make life more exciting. Imagine having friends over for a BBQ, inviting them to birthday parties, or just hanging out in a local pub. 

Shared responsibility

Taking care of the various responsibilities in your life — doing the laundry, mowing the lawn, and cooking dinner — can sometimes feel like daunting tasks. But if you have a girlfriend with whom you live together, you will probably share household chores. Things like planning trips or solving problems together will make you feel like you can handle literally anything as long as your second half is next to you. 

Vision of your future

When you are in a relationship, it gives you the feeling of purpose and direction. You know that you want to live your life with that special person by your side. With your girlfriend, you can do a lot of planning, which will give both of you some daily motivation. Whether it’s about moving in together, going on a trip, or organizing a little party, you will enjoy knowing that there is something ahead to look forward to.

7 Ways on How to Find a Girl at First Time?

first time girlfriend

Cant find a girlfriend? This is about to change. We have collected the most useful advice for guys who want to start dating. Find someone special and charm her completely by following these tips. 

1. Work on your social skills

Finding a girlfriend is a lot about communication. You need to catch her interest from the very first seconds you meet. This can be achieved with a lot of practice. 

  • Keep it simple and positive, and don’t hesitate to add some jokes to your conversation. 
  • Ask her a lot of open-ended questions and listen to the answers carefully.
  • Monitor your tone. Try to sound laid-back and relaxed, even if you don’t feel that way at first. 

It’s also a good idea to think about possible subjects to discuss before going on a date. This can help avoid awkward silences. 

2. Give dating sites a chance

Being able to start a chat with a girl in a bar is great. But if you want to go from never having a girlfriend to building a relationship more easily, online platforms are there for you. Simply create your profile, add some nice pictures of yourself, and start searching for your soulmate. To have a successful online dating experience, keep the following in mind: 

  • Write only true information about yourself.
  • When chatting, don’t try to pretend to be someone you are not.
  • Opt for trustworthy platforms with reliable support and verified users.

Don’t get discouraged if you don’t find someone right away; meeting the person you click with may take some time.

3. Be positive and approachable 

Many people start acting weird when they are near the person they like. If you have never had a girlfriend, you may be trying to play it cool and end up looking grumpy and distant. If you want to catch the interest of a girl, it is time to become more optimistic and wear a smile on your face more often. 

Do it not just for dating but for yourself. Being able to see a rainbow behind the rain is a beautiful skill that will improve your quality of life. 

Here are a few ways to express your positivity: 

  • Offer compliments to others, noticing what they wear or the great ideas they propose.
  • When faced with challenges, focus on finding solutions rather than complaining about problems.
  • Provide support and encouragement to those around you.
  • Be kind for no reason, hold the door open for a colleague, offer to help someone, or give a cute gift.

Once you start doing this, the girls you meet will perceive you as an amazing guy who is positive and optimistic — perfect boyfriend material! 

4. Be yourself

Getting your first gf has nothing in common with conquering the career of your dreams. Why are we mentioning this? Because we want you to know that the famous saying “fake it till you make it” does not work in building romantic connections. You need to be genuine and honest when talking to that girl you are crazy about. 

If you don’t like the current version of yourself, think about what you could do to change it. Let us give you a few ideas for that: 

  • Get a hobby you would love and could talk passionately about. 
  • Read some interesting books you could discuss with your girlfriend. 
  • Start learning a new language to feel better about your life goals. 

Create the version of yourself you are proud of, and go out there to look for the girl who will appreciate you. 

5. Ask your friends for advice

Never had a girlfriend? But you’ve likely chatted with females before. Perhaps some of your friends have seen you talking to a girl and could have some great advice. Sometimes, it’s easier to notice others’ mistakes when observing the situation from the sidelines. For example, they could point out that you are too quiet or too loud or you look too nervous. 

There are also other ways friends can help you find a first time girlfriend. They can

  • introduce you to their female friends and acquaintances.
  • practice different scenarios with you, like role-playing conversations, to prepare you for a date.
  • make you feel more confident by saying that you are charming and lovely.

Don’t hesitate to ask for a little help and say, “I need a gf.” Many people enjoy playing the role of Cupid and bringing happy couples together.

6. Take the initiative

When you are on your first date, you should be the one to start talking about seeing each other again. Remember that it is normal not to be 100% sure whether your partner is attracted to you as much as you are to them. It feels the same on both sides. To make sure you do everything possible to start a relationship, take the initiative. 

  • Pick the place for your date, and make sure you two will feel comfortable meeting there.
  • Start discussing new topics when you realize that your conversation is getting more and more quiet.
  • Offer her your jacket when you see that she is getting cold.
  • Ask about whether she would like to have a second date. 

If the girl isn’t enthusiastic about keeping in touch, just move on. This is not the end of the world. You will surely find another date. 

7. Amaze her with your confidence

You feel like it’s impossible to get a girlfriend? We are ready to argue. You certainly can meet your soulmate and build a happy ever after together. You just need to know the right moves. One of them is showing confidence and being comfortable with who you are. This might seem tough if you have never done it before, but you can work on it. 

Stand tall, make eye contact with the girl, and talk about your passions. This will show your partner that you’re worth knowing.

To build confidence:

  • Surround yourself with supportive people who make you feel good about yourself. 
  • Identify areas for growth and take small steps to work on them.
  • Accept what you can’t change and make it your strength.

It might be that your friends bring you down. If you have noticed something like that, consider surrounding yourself with more positive people who boost your confidence.

Signs You Will Never Get a Girlfriend

There are plenty of things you can do to improve your romantic life. But now we offer you to look at the actions that will bring you exactly the opposite. What are the signs that you will never have a girlfriend? 

  • Unrealistic expectations. Can’t find a girlfriend? One of the possible reasons is that you may be looking for the perfect girl or someone identical to your favorite movie character. Accept the fact that this image is present only in your mind. Plenty of girls are not ideal but absolutely charming, well-educated, and fun. 
  • Fear of rejection. Even those with excellent communication skills and out-of-the-magazine appearances get rejected occasionally. If you’re too afraid of rejection to put yourself out there, you might miss potential opportunities to meet someone.
  • Being overly needy. This is a pretty common mistake guys who never had a girlfriend make. If from the first moment, you meet a girl your happiness becomes totally dependent on her behavior, this relationship is not going to last. Clingy people are unattractive; it’s a fact.  

That being said, you do not need to rush into dating and building a serious romantic connection. Even though the average age of first girlfriend is around 13 y.o., the average age for a first marriage for men is 30.

i need a gf

Never Had a Girlfriend: Conclusion

If you have never had a girlfriend, we suggest taking action now. Start by implementing changes in your life step by step. Here’s what you can do: 

  • Improve your social skills.
  • Try online dating.
  • Stay positive and approachable.
  • Be authentic.
  • Seek advice from friends.
  • Take the lead.
  • Show off your confidence.

With these tips in your pocket, you will find your first girlfriend in no time. We wish you great romantic adventures!

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